WTF?
The one where I skip turning into my mother and turn into my grandmother instead. But with a better sense of direction.
Aug 19th
This weekend, I finally cleaned my apartment (I took pictures, but SOME people made fun of me for it, so I’m not posting them). It’s possibly more organized now than it’s been since I’ve lived there.
I collected nine trash bags of clothes for Goodwill (getting them TO Goodwill is a completely separate issue). NINE. Just think about that. I had nine trash bags worth of clothes in my closet that I didn’t even want. Moreover, I gave away half my clothes when I moved into this apartment, so this was mostly stuff I had collected in the last year and a half.
This led me to create a new rule. The shopping rule: I will not purchase new things (other than large, necessary purchases) without getting rid of something of approximately equal value. Except books. (I mean, let’s be realistic.)
I also have a bag of shoes to donate. The shoe rule is this: If the shoes do not fit on the shelves where the shoes live (except boots, which don’t fit because they’re too tall), I must get rid of some shoes.
Clearly I haven’t been following the shoe rule very closely. Mostly because there were just shoes everywhere.
So now my apartment has been clean since Saturday(ish). There hasn’t been a dish in my sink or a misplaced item of clothing since then. I have gotten up early every morning. I have made my bed every morning. Yes, you read that correctly. I have MADE MY BED. I’m a firm believer that there is absolutely no point in making your bed, and yet…I feel better when it’s made. It’s like a magic fairy has come and made my room slightly more like a hotel. Except that my bed broke in the last move, so all I have is a mattress on the floor (and also I am the magic fairy).
(Cooper is far less cute while I’m trying to make the bed, since he spends his time being in my way and trying to unmake the bed. He’s a hooker-faced asshat sometimes.)
In other news, my bed really isn’t half bad. Having not seen it in six months or so, I had kind of forgotten. Also, my desk? That fucker is adorable. Who knew? It’s been covered in stuff for a while, even when everything else got picked up.
Every morning this week, I have woken up at 6:30 am or earlier, made myself some tea, and read the news while eating a banana. I have had time to get ready for work. My clothes match. My hair has been brushed. My face has been washed. I’ve done some writing. I’ve spent time with Cooper.
So why the change?
You know, I couldn’t really say, except that I think I’ve finally decided maybe it’s time to get my shit together. I’m 30, after all. I’ve trimmed some figurative fat from my life. The literal fat is still there, but I’m working on it, too.
I think maybe I was just finally pushed too far; mostly by people: people who lie, people who stop being there when you actually might need them, people who expect you to be something you’re not just to make their lives easier, people who live to stir up drama and make a big deal out of things that are not. I feel like it’s time to take control and be the person I know I can be, instead of just the awesome, funny, charming person I am. Right?
Here’s the deal, though. If, in a few weeks, you guys have noticed that the only things I ever talk about any more are calories and Jesus? You’ll know that I have, in fact, turned into my Grandmother. That would be the time to intervene, okay? I’ve seen this in action, and it’s not pretty.
There’s been a change of plan.
Aug 10th
I was going to write about a ridiculous cooking “class” my mom and I took at Williams-Sonoma (don’t worry, guys, I’ll get back to you in a little while), but I can’t focus.
And this is ALL MARIE’S FAULT.
Just so you know.
Yesterday she sent me this article about a new study that shows that girls are hitting puberty earlier than they were 30 years ago. You’ll probably read that and think, “What problem could anyone have with that?” And also, “OH MY GOD, MY DAUGHTER IS GOING TO START HAVING SEX AT EIGHT YEARS OLD!”
Yeah, no. In my opinion, that whole thing is just a scare tactic. And it’s made even more awesome because it’s aimed at fat kids (oh noes! Being fat means you might also be a slut!), white girls (don’t let them be slutty like those black girls!), AND tells you your kids might get breast cancer if you let any of this happen. I’m going to write more on this later, because I want to make sure I have my research done. But seriously, people, don’t panic. I’m pretty sure this is a giant load of bullshit.
THEN there’s this whole 12th and Delaware documentary. And while I’m super glad someone made it, I’m pretty bummed I can only watch it on HBO. This is the sort of thing that should be available to everyone, not just those who are willing to pay extra for premium cable channels. It’s cool, I’ll catch it on Netflix. It will be my first horror movie!
If you don’t know anything about it, it’s basically a documentary exposing so-called crisis pregnancy centers (CPCs) for the manipulative, lying, ridiculous pieces of crap that they are. And I’m sure there are some legitimate clinics out there, okay? But I’ve never come across one. It appears that these clinics will say anything to get women to continue with their pregnancies. And so my question to you guys is this: As a “pro-life” person, are you really okay with being lied to and manipulated by people who don’t think you’re smart enough or capable of making your own decisions?
And I’m not saying that to try to convince you that abortion is okay or right or acceptable. This isn’t just some feminist rhetoric. I’m legitimately curious. I’m want to know if you’re really okay with the people you support and claim to be fighting with doing anything it takes to “win” in this “battle”?
You can’t fight every kind of pregnancy prevention, except abstinence, and then take away every option women have when they become pregnant. It’s never going to work. Let’s all try living in the real world where people have sex (because aside from whatever fantasy land you choose, we have years and years and centuries of data to prove that people do, in fact, have sex). And having sex is pretty much the number one cause of pregnancy.
Because of that documentary, NARAL did similar studies on CPCs in California. I have to say, the results are no less disturbing on that side of the country.
I know this stuff isn’t interesting or entertaining or funny, but it’s important. Really think about this stuff, and decide how you feel. None of it is simple, none of it is easy, and we’re approaching these subjects from fundamentally different places. There really isn’t a middle ground, because the two don’t ever seem to meet up. It’s not one extreme end of a spectrum and the other. It’s two completely different spectrums. I don’t hope to change anyone’s mind, just encourage everyone to think before just blindly following something because of scare tactics or rhetoric. Do the research. Decide for yourself. And then insist that the people you support are fighting this fight with integrity.
Oh, and also…now we have to SAVE THE INTERNETS! Evil corporations. DOOM. Click. Read. Sign. (Also note that Google is a now a major player in this. Google who’s all about free-source code and blah blah the people having access, yada yada. It’s not good enough to just stop AT&T dudes. They aren’t the only bad guys here.)
I believe the children are our future.
Jul 12th
What’s up, Whitney?
This morning, as I logged onto my work computer, the first thing I saw was a link to a Feministing article about Twilight. Since, as I’m sure you know, I love to make fun of Twilight, I clicked and dug in.
If you don’t want to read the article yourself, it’s basically about how movies like Twilight target teenage girls with abstinence-only messages and bombard them with gender normative stereotypes. These are all things I’ve noticed, with a sigh and an eye roll. The fundamentalist Christians are winning this battle, the article says.
And I think it’s true.
Then the author switches to talk about things like High School Musical and Taylor Swift. Shows and pop-stars for teenagers that push abstinence-only messages and use their power to convince teenagers that heterosexuality and the standard gender roles are really the only acceptable ways to live.
I won’t argue that any of that is inaccurate. I won’t try to tell you that it’s not true. It is true.
Here’s the thing, though. I watched all those things as a teenager (I mean, sort of.), and I don’t think that any of those things are true. Yes, we need to be careful and keep a watchful eye on this sort of thing. But, in my opinion, as a parent, you can counter-act the effects of pop-culture (my mom did). School on the other hand? That’s where things get tricky.
As feminists, we’re not going to control Hollywood, though. At least, we’re probably not. These are money-making machines and they don’t have to be based in fact or “do the right thing” or anything else. They just have to be entertaining. We, as people, need to counter the information our children are getting from these films and books and shows and pop-stars on a more basic level. At home. In school.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t talking about it. We absolutely should. Blogs like Feministing and Jezebel are important because they catch things like that where the rest of us may have stopped paying attention, or just aren’t interested in the particular subject-matter. But this particular article didn’t really offer up a solution. Just a bitch session. Which is FINE. We all need a good rant every once in a while.
The problem is that we’re all allowed to believe pretty much whatever we want. And we’re allowed to teach our beliefs to our children. And since we are so fundamentally divided on this topic, things get tricky. I don’t think our fight should start with Hollywood, though. I think our fight should begin and end in insisting that our children be taught the truth about sex at school. (At the very least, at public school.) And yes, I know that messages like the ones above can be dangerous to our teenagers. I do. And I don’t agree with them. But until we can give our kids a more reasonable and truth-driven base on which to stand and hang their beliefs, how can we expect them to make smart and responsible choices, no matter what they hear in pop-culture?
And that means you need to talk to your kids about sex. You need to talk to your kids. Period. Don’t let Twilight and High School Musical be where your kids learn how to be humans. It’s your responsibility to teach them. And so, if you believe that abstinence-only is the best way, I can’t stop you from teaching your kids that. But if you don’t, keep in mind that it’s the predominant message that your kids are probably getting from everywhere else.
I’m not a parent, but I’ve been a child. I didn’t listen to a THING my mother said to me. But I stored it all away somewhere in my brain, and when I was ready to admit that my mother could be right and that she might know a little something-something about life, it all came pouring back out. So just keep talking, parents. I’m almost sure that it will get through to your children sometime.
Don’t confuse what I’m saying here. I’m not suggesting you tell your children that having sex is super and they should do it all the time. Or that it’s cool to do drugs. Just tell them the truth. Tell them about your own struggles, I’m sure you had some. Just talk to them as though they’re people, rather than lecturing.
Teach your little boys that women deserve to be treated with the same respect as men, that no gender is superior, and that it’s okay if they want to stay home and raise the children. Teach your little girls that they can be and do anything they want to do, that they can fix their own toilets, and that it’s perfectly acceptable to get dirty. Teach all your children that people are people, no matter who they choose to love or what they look like or how much money they have. We’re all just doing the best we can to survive and live our lives.
I don’t really have the answers. I doubt this battle will ever go away. But we must fight against teaching our children lies in school (if you think that abstinence-only education doesn’t promote lies, read The Purity Myth). It’s damaging and just plain wrong.
This really isn’t where I thought this blog was going to go, actually. I had planned on linking to another article I stumbled to on Feministing and ripping it a new one. Guess I’ll save that for tomorrow. I also have some shit to say about racism, and how people don’t really seem to understand what it is any more. Sounds like it’s going to be a busy week, eh?
Politicians, Happy Meals, and Prostitutes.
Jun 23rd
I’m sure you’ve heard about General McChrystal’s “incendiary comments” about…well, about everything. Mostly, I hear people feeling shock and outrage. REALLY guys? You’re SHOCKED that a lifelong military guy says bad words and doesn’t kiss ass and speaks his opinion? Sounds like just about every military guy I’ve ever known.
And really…the man is entitled to his own opinion. About the President, about the Vice President, about the war he was hired to fight; about everything. I may not (and often don’t) agree with everything the man says, but he should be allowed to say it. I’m sure getting a “talking to” from the President about calling Biden “short-sighted” was really exciting for a General in the US Military. So what if he thinks Biden is “short-sighted”? So what if he said that Obama seemed uncomfortable in a room full of military people? That’s his OPINION.
It’s entirely possible that Rolling Stone has no fucking place doing this sort of story anyway. If we, as American people, can’t handle the fact that the people we trust to defend our country have opinions and aren’t always politically correct, maybe we should keep the press out of the situation.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not a fan of war. I’m not even a fan of the way the military recruits and trains its soldiers. Read what I said there, okay? I’m not saying I don’t SUPPORT the military (though I don’t support rape or torture in any context, dudes) and have respect for the fact that they put their lives at risk to defend the freedoms I enjoy in this country. Got it? I’m just saying I wish we’d make some changes in recruitment, training, and the way women and homosexuality are treated.
(Despite how you may read that, I’m not suggesting that everyone in the military feels the same way about any given subject. Nor am I blaming rape and torture on the military. But in my opinion, which is really all I can give you on my blog, those things are issues that need to be addressed. In my opinion, the attitude toward women and homosexual people needs to be altered. That is a general statement and not meant about the thoughts of any individual serving in the military. I also sincerely doubt that I am alone in those opinions. Let’s also be mindful of the fact that I write these blogs in about 15 minutes and they don’t represent my complete thoughts about…anything.)
I guess all I’m trying to say is that I’m not at all shocked by the fact that a general in the US Military has differing opinions than politicians about the war that will never end in Afghanistan. I’m saying that I’m not shocked that some of his opinions involve curse words. I’m saying that I’m not the slightest bit shocked that when hanging with his crew, they make jokes about other people. And I’m saying that it doesn’t even phase me that the man has pissed off nearly everyone he’s come into contact with. None of that should really shock you either.
What should possibly shock you is that the Center for Science in the Public Interest is threatening to sue McDonald’s if they don’t stop “using toys to lure children to its Happy Meals.” No, I’m not joking.
Here’s a little secret, everyone: Children can’t drive. You know what that means, right? Unless you live next to a McDonald’s and you let your child run around without your knowledge, your kid probably isn’t getting to a McDonald’s if you don’t take it there.
YES, we have a problem with obesity in this country. YES, the children are fat. But seriously, it’s not McDonald’s fault. And even if they share in the blame? There are a couple dozen other fast-food joints out there who are doing the exact same things. How often do you see them getting sued for putting toys in their kids’ meals?
We should maybe all check ourselves a little bit and stop the blame game. No one puts food in your mouth but you. And you, as a parent, are responsible for your child’s food intake, at least until high school. I’ll admit that I wouldn’t want to wrestle with a teenager about nutrition, but we can add that to the many reasons I should never have kids.
Even better than that, the City of Arlington has decided that there’s too much prostitution going on in their parts. They’re proposing to ban people who have been convicted of any prostitution offense (within two years) from the Arts and Entertainment District.
I’m sorry, hang on while I laugh a little at calling anything in Arlington, Texas an “Arts and Entertainment District.” Get all pissy if you must, but when I think of Arts and Entertainment, I don’t even think of Texas, much less Arlington.
Aside from the obvious problem of enforcement (unless we’re going to start tattooing people’s foreheads or something), what about the way that this sort of…tramples on the constitutional rights of people who have served their time or paid their fine? No? We’re not worried about that, because we’re talking about dirty dirty people who would…PAY FOR SEX! Oh no!
Is anyone else kind of puzzled as to why the burglars and murderers get a pass here?
It’s cool, though, because they’re going to warn everyone who’s been convicted of such a crime BEFORE they kick them out and arrest them. Oh, and if you have a good reason, you’re allowed to be there. Good reasons include: You work there, you’re seeing a doctor, you’re seeing an attorney. Good reasons do not include: You’re going to a Cowboys game, you’re going to a Rangers game, you just fucking want to be because you have the right to go anywhere you fucking please as a free citizen of this state.
Police Chief Bowman? I hate to tell you this, but no, this is not “a pretty creative and innovative way to deal with one of the world’s oldest problems.” It’s nearly impossible to enforce and it seems in direct conflict with the Bill of Rights. But what do I know? I’m just a lowly archaeologist.
Personally, I love the way you guys contradict yourselves on the subject. (And being the cynic I am, I wonder how many of you public figures are partaking in the very services you condemn, but that’s a topic for another day.)
From the first page of the article: “It’s a family oriented environment. Visible prostitution on the streets could certainly take away from that ambiance,” said north Arlington council member Mel LeBlanc, who represents the entertainment district.
From the second page: The zone would provide another way for police to keep up with a changing illicit sex industry, which has become less visible with the advent of technology.
So it’s a problem with visible prostitution that’s no longer visible because of technology? Interesting.
This is all getting a bit old, isn’t it?
I don’t do Follow Friday.
Jun 8th
There’s this thing people do on Twitter: Follow Friday (#FF).
I don’t do it. Honestly, I don’t even generally see the point in it.
Occasionally people will include me on their #FF list (thanks!). I feel like an asshole, but I never reciprocate. I hardly ever follow anyone because they appeared on a #FF list. I just don’t get it.
(Personally, I think @sherryrose wins for getting people to follow each other. In case you haven’t seen it, she totally does Twitter introductions and I love them.)
However, last Friday, I landed on the mothership of bizarre-O #FF list.
You know me, right? Raging atheist. Hates most things ‘tween.’ And then I saw this:
I was put on a #FF list with a Jesus website AND Justin Beiber. I’m pretty sure the world is ending. Stock up on canned goods and find a bunker.
And just in case you think that Jesus website is a joke…so did I. But this is a screenshot of just the first part. I can’t look at the rest. I’m scared.
In case you’re bored and need some things to read on the internets:
You can check out my reviews of Solitary Man and Killers on Red Carpet Crash. (Coming soon: Helena Bonham Carter claims singing got her pregnant!)
Also, don’t forget to read the Femme Writes posts for this month’s Women in the Workplace.
And I have a new post up on Femme Writes about abortions in military hospitals.
