Bloggy Love
Electric Youth!
May 18th
Okay, that was just my lame attempt to get Debbie Gibson lyrics in the title. I’ll work on it.
Before I get down to business, click on over to Femme Writes to read my post about how your rapist likes skinny jeans. We need your comments!
Also, the ladies over at Beauty and the Bitch crack my shit up on a regular basis. So I wanted to give them a shout out for their fabulous advice and their snarky attitude. Also, I’m pretty sure they’re the Borg, so you might get assimilated (ahem, geek out).
Okay, on to the blog at hand.
I had to go to the dentist yesterday. Always a good time. Because of my ridiculous cough, they had to give me some drugs to knock me out a little. I guess the dentist didn’t really feel all that great about me coughing in his face. Weird.
Anyway, when I walked into my apartment, something seemed a little weird. It was eerily silent. As if my electricity was off. When I tried to turn on the kitchen light, it became clear that my electricity was indeed off.
There was a storm coming, so I thought maybe the power was out in my building. It wasn’t.
So then I thought, “Self? Could you have forgotten to pay your electric bill? Even though you set it up to automatically debit out of your account and you haven’t altered anything since LAST SUMMER?”
I don’t receive paper bills from my electric company (savin’ the environment, yo), but I knew I hadn’t received any notices in the mail about my bill, because I would have noticed them. I hadn’t received any phone calls or messages about my electric bill either. (The only message that I haven’t listened to in my voicemail is the one from that dude who told me three hours later that he was married. Ugh.)
This all seemed very strange to me, so I called the company.
It seems, and hold on to your pants for this one, that I hadn’t paid my electric bill since LAST JULY. You know, TEN MONTHS AGO.
According to them, I set up the automatic debit and everything was fine, but then they needed some updated information about my bank account or whatever. So they sent me a letter. Last July. ONE LETTER. LAST YEAR.
Then yesterday, they turned off my power and I discovered that I owe them $900. Uh, NINE HUNDRED DOLLARS.
The lady on the phone assured me that they could absolutely set me up with some sort of payment plan. But I would have to pay 75% of the balance to turn my power back on. Oh, and I have to pay that money within four business days to avoid a cancellation of service and a ding on my credit (which, frankly, can’t suffer any more).
What. The. FUCK? You can set me up on a payment plan for the REMAINING $130? Don’t you think if I can come up with $770, I can probably come up with $130?!?
So here I am, two days before leaving for Bloggers in Sin City (Hi, I’ll be the one with no money and the nasty cough that keeps everyone up all night), and I’m now completely broke and probably won’t recover for two months.
I find it hard to believe that they left my power on for NINE MONTHS, without me paying a dime. And that they gave me absolutely no notice before turning it off. But what can I really do? I could fight them, but I do owe them the money. And I like having electricity. It’s about to be 90-something degrees here everyday. Not having air conditioning does NOT sound like a good time.
FML
In which I issue you an ultimatum. Or mostly just bitch about your behavior, Twerps.
Feb 17th
I’m aware that this is probably going to offend a few folks. Kindly get over it.
We have a problem. It’s with your Twitter habits. The list of things I don’t enjoy reading in a tweet is long, but for today’s purposes, let’s just focus on a few.
1. Kevin Smith and all other celebrities – STOP FILLING MY ENTIRE TWITTER FEED ANSWERING RANDOM ASS QUESTIONS. I don’t care. I’m sure most people really don’t care. I mean, if I wanted to know what kind of cereal you eat in the morning, I’d google it. I’m really tired of this and you’re about to get UNFOLLOWED. I know this makes you sad because I mean a lot to you.
@thebloggess gets a pass because I actually want to hear her answer questions. She counts as celebrity, right?
2. Formspring – Seriously, could there be a more “I just want to talk about myself incessantly” project in your life? Occasionally someone might ask you an interesting question, but most of the time the questions are on par with what our dear Kevin Smith is answering and I. Don’t. Care. Also, the questions are anonymous, which it says on the home screen of the website, so please try to refrain from getting your feelings hurt when people act like assholes. Welcome to life. I’ve heard it from several people. If you don’t want people to ask you anonymous asshole-ish questions, don’t put yourself in that position. (I’m not trying to be harsh here, but c’mon…people are assholes.)
@gingermandy gets a small pass for at least pretending to come up with a reason WHY she wanted people to ask her questions.
3. Four Square/4square/that other thing that does the same thing – STOP IT. I don’t care where you are. No one does. Plus, I don’t know if you’re aware, but telling people exactly where you’re going to be and when is like an invitation to get stalked by crazies. Maybe that’s just something that happens to me, but seriously, think before you tweet your location. Also, it’s just really annoying. Like whoa.
@jenniferalaine gets a pass on this one because she usually tweets something funny along with her location. And I would totally stalk her if I lived closer anyway.
4. I’m totally stealing this from @lbluca77 because she is SO RIGHT. Please stop retweeting the tweets that people tweet at you to tell you you’re awesome. It’s ridiculous. Someone said you’re awesome. That’s great. But you retweeting it makes you an asshole. Probably. I’m sure there are exceptions, but I can’t think of any. If you need to say thanks, you can just reply. No need to retweet your awesomeness.
@jayferris gets a pass because his awesome can’t be contained. But I reserve the right to remove this pass if it gets out of control.
Okay, that’s it for today, kiddos. Stop pissing me off!
UPDATED – NOW WITH ACTUAL ULTIMATUM!
I got so caught up in being pissy with you before that I forgot to issue you an ultimatum. Which was the whole point.
Hi, I’m an idiot.
Your ultimatum is this: You can pick ONE, but only ONE of the previously mentioned annoying habits to do. Please. For the good of humanity, only be annoying in one way, instead of four. Thank you. That is all.
Super Bowl Sadface.
Feb 8th
Okay, so I really…really really really thought the Colts were going to win the Super Bowl. Really.
A lot.
I knew it would be a close game, but I just KNEW Peyton Manning would pull out a win in the end.
Just in case you didn’t watch, that’s not what happened. SADFACE. I’m happy for all my NOLA friends and it was certainly nice to see the Saints win their first Super Bowl. But seriously. SADFACE.
I’m done talking about it now. I have one important announcement to make. My lovely Carissa over at Carissa Jaded is going to be doing a comedy slam story thingy that I don’t really understand, but it’s sure to be funny! And it’s Valentine’s Day themed, which I’m guessing means they’ll be pissing on Valentine’s Day’s parade. They ARE comedians after all. So if you’re in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, you should probably go support her. I mean, could YOU get up in front of a bunch of people and be funny? Exactly. So go laugh at Carissa. She likes that. Click HERE for details about the show!
Oh, I made some DELICIOUS Onion Dip yesterday. DELICIOUS. Maybe even life changing. If you’d like the recipe, please go visit the Pioneer Woman’s Tasty Kitchen. She is a genius, as is the woman who added this recipe. Whoever she may be. 
Doesnt’ that just make your mouth water? Because it makes my mouth water. Mmmm….
I’m going to have the lovely Natalie Cottrell, the delicious Gofahne, and the always incredible Graygrrrl over for some dinner goodies soon, and I need vegetarian recipe suggestions. Otherwise, I’ll just be making pasta. With cheese and wine. I know my audience, okay? No, I’m kidding. I already have a couple of things in mind, but I’m open to suggestions from my blog cooks.
UM ALSO.
If you’re in the DFW Metroplex and you wanna meet some other bloggers, we’re having DRINKS! Yummy. Who doesn’t like drinks?
When: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 @ 7:30 pm
Where: Sherlock’s @ Park and 75
Who’s Coming: Shine, Gofahne, Graygrrrl, Natalie, Mary, Carissa, possibly Blue-eyed Brunette, and Antje (and you?)
Let us know if you want to attend! Email me at ishineoutloud@gmail.com
It’s Friday, we should breakup – I got NOTHIN’.
Feb 5th
Okay, it’s not that nothing has irritated me this week. Let’s be honest with ourselves here, people, something irritates me EVERY week.
It’s more that I feel like I’m about to DIE and I just lost my breakfast and I want to be in DC and have a snow day, but I’m NOT.
Oh. Wait a minute. THAT’S IT.
Today, I am breaking up with all you DC bitches bragging about your effing snow day. Meanie pants! All of you. I want snow. I don’t even think I remember what it looks like. All we get in Dallas in the winter is rain, rain, ice, and traffic.
So here’s to all you DC bloggers. SHUT YOUR FACES I WANT SNOW.
That is all.
Basketball Players and All-Star Games and Prostitutes, Oh MY!
Feb 4th
**Don’t forget to resubscribe and add me to your google reader!**
According to NBCDFW, and the radio station I was listening to this morning, we have a new thing to get all upset about in Dallas. This is due mostly to the fact that the Cowboys season is over, and it’s hard to keep whining and rehashing the SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER (Right, Emmitt?).
The NBA All-Star game will be held here in Dallas this year. And you know what that means! Hookers! Now, rather than just be…less than concerned about what adults do in the privacy of their own hotel rooms, we’re going to roll out extra police and have undercover agents in nearly every hotel in the surrounding area.
I’m considering getting all dressed up, and hanging out suspiciously in a hotel bar, to see if I can get picked out as a prostitute. Fun, right? Who’s with me?
Also, here’s what I heard when I read this article: If you’re going to commit a crime in Dallas that ISN’T getting paid for sex…the NBA All-Star game night is the night to do it. The police will be distracted trying to bust people who are essentially hurting no one, so they won’t be paying a lot of attention to you rapist, murderers, and burglars. FREE DAY!
Why are we so freaked out about this? Honestly, I don’t believe that prostitution is a simple issue, any more than I believe selling organs is a simple issue. Exploitation of unwilling women (and men…I guess) is never okay in my book. But this seems like an awful lot of concern about women who seem to know what they’re doing. Am I crazy here?
In other news, the Dallas bloggers have decided to take a page from the DC book. So we’re planning a night of drinks and debauchery next Wednesday! Okay, probably mostly drinks, but a girl can hope. It’s not exactly happy hour because we’re coming from all over the Metroplex and we’d rather NOT fight traffic and be stabby by the time we meet each other. We’re smart ladies.
When: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 @ 7:30 pm
Where: Sherlock’s @ Park and 75
Who’s Coming: Shine, Gofahne, Graygrrrl, Natalie, Mary, and Carissa (and you?)
Let us know if you want to attend! Email me at ishineoutloud@gmail.com
