It’s an EPIDEMIC. And I do NOT approve.
Not that anyone really cares what I think. I do know this. But I’m going to talk about this anyway, m’kay?
This leggings as pants thing you’re doing? It has. Got. To. STOP.
Okay, now I know that some of you are about to tell me that tights are also not leggings. But let’s be honest with each other here, okay? This is a safe place. You know as well as I do that those things you’re calling leggings are (most of the time) just tights with no feet. Don’t you feel better now that we’ve cleared the air?
You don’t actually want to walk around looking like this, right?
I didn’t think so. (Okay, I realize this doesn’t really look half as bad in the picture, but I was walking, so it’s blurry. It wasn’t pretty.)
There’s a chick who works at Baker’s Shoes who is a constant offender. I know more about the lumps and bumps of her ass than I know about my own. Every time I see her, I just want to grab her shoulders, shake her, and scream, “WHY?” in her face. I haven’t done it yet, but it’s building up inside.
I’m on board with the skinny jeans (it took me a while). If you can’t cover your ass, please…please just wear skinny jeans. Leggings are to be worn UNDER things. UNDER things that are long enough to COVER YOUR ASS. Is that so hard?
Trust me. Your ass doesn’t look half as good as you think it does. I don’t care who you are.
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about 6 months ago
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!! i want to email this to every woman i know.
cavy´s last blog ..love happens in the kitchen.
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shine Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:15 am
Feel free!
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about 6 months ago
I’m gonna send you pictures of my ass. You’ll be begging me to wear leggings as pants!
Just A Girl´s last blog ..Rules for sex stories
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shine Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:39 am
I can’t argue with that.
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about 6 months ago
Listen.
I like it.
Granted, not the bad ones. But every once in a while, a lady comes along with an ass that’s just..just…FANTASTIC.
Stop ruining my fun!
Travis´s last blog ..Memoir Monday: PEACE! Be Still…
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shine Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:15 am
This really was an attempt to ruin ALL your fun. Trust me, her ass will look just as delicious in skinny jeans. I just won’t have to know about that freckle on her left cheek.
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about 6 months ago
I think some women can get away with leggings. But I am so not on board with skinny jeans. Unless a woman is really skinny and tiny (like Nicole Ritchie, not when she weighed like 12 pounds though) she should not wear skinny jeans. Larger women in skinny jeans just look like a triangle. It is not flattering.
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shine Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:14 am
Yes. Wear leggings. Just cover your ass. Rarely is a legging so thick that I can’t SEE through it. Ick.
And I’m not a tiny woman, but I love my skinny jeans. I mean, calling them skinny makes me laugh. But I love them. I don’t look like a triangle at all. Couldn’t if I tried.
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lbluca77 Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 1:20 pm
Oh yes covering the ass is a must. Skinny jeans just look bad on me so I hate them. My body is pear shaped so they make me look like a triangle. It’s not pretty.
lbluca77´s last blog ..You’re hear to sweat, not walk the catwalk
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about 6 months ago
Woman (and probably man) kind in all corners of the globe salute you right now! The basic rule of thumb is: if wearing leggings or tights, then whatever you’re wearing on the upper part of your body has to cover your arse (unless you are wearing a skirt over those leggings or tights–preferrably not a skin tight mini, though).
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shine Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:16 am
Amen.
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about 6 months ago
Hahaha SO TRUE!!!
Although I am a daily offender in my own home… Oh and actually I’m afraid my ass may have offended a few people in Blockbuster the other day… But generally I don’t wear leggings unless they are under a dress or a dress-like top.
carissajade´s last blog ..I’m not who I thought I was.
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shine Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:17 am
Your own home is your own home. Your roommates can lodge complaints, but I do not govern ANYTHING you do with your ass in your own home.
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about 6 months ago
Couldn’t agree more. I see girls wearing those out at the bar and shivering and complaining that it’s cold outside. I can only stare at their clothing and they realize that their selection of fashion over function is NOT helping them!
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shine Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:18 am
This comment should also be sponsored by “Women who wear furry boots with micro-mini skirts.” I’m going to get nasty in someone’s face about that at a bar near you very soon.
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about 6 months ago
I don’t even own leggings, except for the running kind and I still wear shorts over them. I do not understand this phenomenon.
Mary´s last blog ..Family Tie-Me-Up-and-Hang-Me
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shine Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:29 am
I own a pair. But I only wear them under things…because ya know, they’re TIGHTS.
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about 6 months ago
Thank god I am on the right side of the tracks with this one! I will only wear leggings with an ACTUAL dress. Not a shirt long enough that someone might ponder if it’s a dress.
I’m glad we had this talk.
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shine Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:30 am
Me too. Let’s do this again sometime. Say, April 10th?
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about 6 months ago
I had this same conversation with my Mom. She was trying to buy leggings and I told her that she is only allowed to sleep in them, not wear them out as if they were pants. She tried to argue and luckily for me something else caught her eye and the conversation ended with me being victorious.
Tracie´s last blog ..V-Day–Great Success!
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shine Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:56 am
Whew! That was a close one. And she can wear them OUT, but only underneath things that cover her ass.
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about 6 months ago
I wore tights a couple times. For a dance recital. First to Meatloaf, and the following year to Michael Jackson.
Well. Technically I think they were jazz pants.
But only ever on a stage.
Will Entrekin´s last blog ..What Writers Can Learn from Superbowl Ads
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shine Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 12:00 pm
Yeah, I mean, that’s a different thing entirely. But I would definitely not approve of you wearing tights with a shirt that doesn’t cover your ass to go shopping or something.
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Will Entrekin Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 6:56 pm
Really? I’ve been told I have a great ass.
Will Entrekin´s last blog ..What Writers Can Learn from Superbowl Ads
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about 6 months ago
I refuse to stop doing this. It is too comfortable. Tights, no. Those are see through. Leggings, yes. It is what it is.
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shine Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 12:00 pm
Maybe we need to give a lesson on what constitutes one versus the other then. Because I can usually see right through them. And just…NO. I have no need to see that. No matter how pretty your ass is.
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Ells Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 4:53 pm
J: Sweat pants are comfortable. Don’t act like it’s about comfort. You think it looks good, don’t you!
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about 6 months ago
i’m guilty. i did this last night and was going to tell you. however, my tunic covered my ass so it’s ok right? i assure you it was cute and my leggings were thick and i didn’t look like a can of biscuits popped open.
shutup, we’re still friends.
gingermandy´s last blog ..LOL’s and LMAO’s
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shine Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 12:01 pm
As long as the ass is covered, I don’t have to unfriend you. I think we’re good.
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about 6 months ago
I have one friend to whom I will grant permission to wear leggings as pants (since, you know, I have given myself to authority to do so) because she has some health issues and can’t find jeans or any sort of real pants that fit as she is super tiny. (She can’t get above 85 pounds but because she’s been through puberty, juniors pants/jeans won’t fit. It’s kinda sad. But I do want to carry her around in my pocket. She’s so cute. And I am insensitive.)
Have you seen the leggings that look like jeans? (Not talking about the “denim” PJ pants situation.) They’re designed to look like skinny jeans, but they’re all lycra. WOW.
Natalie Cottrell´s last blog ..Hockey with a capital "H"
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shine Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 1:02 pm
Ahem. Yes. LOB owns a pair. I didn’t say that.
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LOB Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 10:29 pm
Dude way to sell me out, and those we’re approved by Laura- she even encouraged me to keep/wear them, so I’m passing the blame. And please you love my ass, it’s glorious.
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shine Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 11:45 am
Sorry dude! I must tell the truth! Plus, it got you to comment on my blog, which you never do, so I’m okay with selling you out. AND I didn’t say your ass wasn’t glorious.
about 6 months ago
Let me toss in the “I’m a guy” disclaimer before commenting…
I definitely understand your objections, because sometimes it’s just gross. Other times it’s fantastic. Although I don’t think the fantastic times outweigh gross ones.
I would fully support a ban if we could make a few exceptions. There’s a young lady in my poli sci class that would make me cry if she stopped wearing leggings as pants. The view is really that fantastic.
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shine Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 1:03 pm
I’m pretty sure skinny jeans will give you the same fantastic view. But I suppose everyone should be allowed to have one person to pardon.
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about 6 months ago
I LOVE THIS POST!
adriana´s last blog ..If I were…
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about 6 months ago
Dude. EXACTLY. I appointed myself Giver of Tickets to people who wear too much spandex. Apparently, I am going to have to take on leggings too. Because you’re SO right. AWFUL.
Aunt Becky´s last blog ..Next on Hoarders: Your Aunt Becky
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shine Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 2:12 pm
I’m pretty sure it COUNTS as spandex. It’s like…honorary spandex or something.
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about 6 months ago
American Apparel should employ gay men to decide whether or not a girl is worthy to wear them as pants on a case-by-case basis. And by “gay men” I of course mean me and a few of my buddies.
Jay´s last blog ..I’m the Guy Who Has No OCD Friends for a Reason
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shine Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 2:44 pm
You’re the one with the umbrella.
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about 6 months ago
“Leggings are to be worn UNDER things. UNDER things that are long enough to COVER YOUR ASS.”
Those two sentences made me laugh until I snorted.
Can we turn this post into a public service announcement?
Jeney´s last blog ..My Final Post
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shine Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 8:46 pm
Yes! Please.
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about 6 months ago
Can I first say that I have spent the last week (after being directed to your blog via 15 minute lunch) plowing through your archives, and finally am current. Funny. Shit.
Secondly. I was completely on-board with your reasoning, until you proposed skinny jeans as an acceptable substitute. I do not find them flattering in the least. I work on a college campus and they make every girl I see in them, look like she’s fifteen. And I don’t appreciate being made to feel like a dirty old man just for having noticed how unattractive her pants are.
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shine Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 8:47 pm
Flattering or not, at least I can’t see the mole on her ass through them. And skinny jeans don’t make my ass look like it’s 15. I promise.
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about 6 months ago
I love my leggings because they’re so comfy, but I always make sure my ass is covered.
It’s true, no matter how fabulous you think your ass looks, not everyone should have to see it.
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shine Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 11:45 am
Especially because those leggings are rarely as opaque as you think, once you’re bent over or whatever. I learned that lesson the hard way with some running tights at the climbing gym.
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about 6 months ago
God I love you.
I always have my arse covered when I’m wearing leggings. To be honest in this weather I tend to wear them in place of tights i.e. under dresses and skirts.
What are perhaps worse are those fucking treggings things – leggings that are made out of blue stuff that looks a bit like denim. What the fuck is wrong with blue skinny jeans instead?
Basically however good your body you have no reason to shove it in the face of everyone else. Have some modesty for crying out loud. And put your tits away too while you’re at it (sometimes I hate being a university student, half the students go out practically naked and then go on to get naked the moment they hit the union. The fuck?).
Jenny´s last blog ..Alright, I’m Feeling Less Lovely Today
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shine Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 11:48 am
Treggings? I thought we were calling those jeggings or some horrible thing.
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about 6 months ago
Offenders beware… we are COMING FOR YOU.
LiLu´s last blog ..The Rules to PWNing Karaoke, a la LiLu
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shine Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 11:48 am
Beware the wrath of LiLu.
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about 6 months ago
Can’t agree more. It’s beyond ridiculous.
AuntBT´s last blog ..The world is full of internet hate
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shine Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 4:08 pm
It really is.
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about 6 months ago
Ugh, I was just talking about this the other day! I don’t care who you are, your ass will look gross in just leggings!
Sara´s last blog ..Diets & Jillian Michaels Man Voice
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shine Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 4:09 pm
I’m pretty much in agreement.
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about 6 months ago
see, like you point out, all these people wearing “leggings” are WEARING EFFING TIGHTS. folks, if i can see the color of your skin through your leggings? THEY ARE TIGHTS. AND TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS.
also, unless you are olympic-athlete-level in shape? i’m very sorry, but your ass and under-butt DO NOT actually look good in leggings. please trust us.
Alice´s last blog ..it’s march! i should write a post.
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shine Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 4:10 pm
I mean, really. All I’m asking is for you to cover your ass. I don’t think that’s too much.
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about 6 months ago
I can’t believe there’s a graphic for this!! I concure whole heartedly (spelling?)!!! I don’t want to see your underware, and I especially don’t want to see it through stretched lycra. I understand the 80′s made a come back, but it’t time to move on. Furthermore, in the 80′s we covered our asses with oversized t-shirts and sweaters; not cropped tops.
Can we also outlaw underware peaking out from the top of pants?
Graygrrrl´s last blog ..Both a Sad Day for Dallas & a Happy One For Me
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shine Reply:
March 2nd, 2010 at 8:48 pm
Underwear starts with “under” for a reason…
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about 6 months ago
Preach it girl. I only wear leggings if my shirt or top is long enough to cover my butt and everytime I see girls wearing a normal length shirt with leggings, I wanna scream.
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about 6 months ago
WORD.
Sarah P´s last blog ..The big weiners!
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