My argument FOR the Oxford comma.
For those of you who don’t know what that is, well, you should probably just stop reading now because this is going to be boring for you. But it’s short!
If you want to know, Wikipedia can explain it to you here. They call it a “serial comma.” I don’t.
First of all, I have no idea why there’s even a debate. It’s a comma. USE IT.
Second of all, it’s just more consistent that way. If I’m making a list and I include a comma before each thing in the list after the first thing (my my, wasn’t THAT an awesome example of poor sentence construction?), why on earth would I break that pattern for the last thing?
And therein lies my argument. For consistency’s sake, just use the damn thing. I think it resolves more ambiguity than it creates. ESPECIALLY if we would all just agree to use it in all lists everywhere, all the time.
Of course, since I can’t even count on most people to type “to” instead of “2″ any more, I’m probably preaching to an empty church. Or a church of lazy assholes.
In other news, I’m starting my own religion. It’s called “Don’t be an asshole.” That’s the main rule and premise of the religion. The mission statement, if you will. The only catch? Since I’m like the Jesus of this little example, I (and only I) get to decide what constitutes “being an asshole.” I don’t promise to be fair or just. I don’t promise to be consistent. I do promise to count “stupidity” as “asshole.”
You’re all on notice. If you read this blog, you’re probably automatically in “Don’t be an asshole.” Don’t make me kick you out of the kick ass party at the end.
| Print article | This entry was posted by shine on 03/10/2010 at 11:36 am, and is filed under Uncategorized. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site. |







about 6 months ago
I look forward to the party.
I am in agreement with the comma thing. Kudos to you for posting about it.
Travis´s last blog ..Guest Post Number #5: Jeff From Badly Drawn Monsters!
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 12:55 pm
Now that I’m like Jesus, it’s my job to save the world. From comma stupidity.
[Reply]
about 6 months ago
FINALLY – Someone else who is annoyed by the same grammatical eccentricities as me. I can’t count the number of times I corrected this omission when editing papers for fellow classmates during my grad school classes. As you said, it’s a comma, so use it dammit. I know some people may consider it optional, but it is this kind of “optional” or “random” rule that ensures that English will continue to be one of the worst languages for non-native speakers to learn. Forget the fact that we’re surrounded by natives who mutilate it on a daily basis.
Proud to be a member of your “congregation”…(or is it a cult?). Either way, I say “Down with the Assholes!” We just can’t say “may the assholes burn in hell” because 1) like you, that would require a belief in religion that isn’t there, and 2) the smell of burning ass? I don’t think so.
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 12:55 pm
“Down with assholes!” sounds kinda dirty. I like it!
[Reply]
about 6 months ago
Will alcohol be at this kick ass party?
lbluca77´s last blog ..Does your vagina sparkle? Well now it can
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 12:56 pm
How can it be a kickass party without booze? We’re not THAT kind of religion.
[Reply]
about 6 months ago
I don’t use it, but I see your point. I think I was discouraged from using it in school and that’s why I don’t use it now. I wouldn’t be opposed to starting to use it, but it would take some practice to rewrite the rule in my head.
I’m not an asshole, right?
Mary´s last blog ..That Time I Bought a Netbook and then Never Really Mentioned It
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 12:56 pm
Asshole-ish-ness will be determined on a case by case basis. Generally, I would have to say that you are not an asshole. But you have your moments. I can’t remember any of them, though, so you’re safe.
[Reply]
about 6 months ago
I worked for my college newspaper as a copy editor and they did not agree with you. I, on the other hand, went crazy because I am someone who ALWAYS goes for the Oxford comma and had to ignore my strong urges to add them.
Tracie´s last blog ..V-Day–Great Success!
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 12:57 pm
Those who don’t agree with me must be wrong. See above statement about now being like Jesus for further proof.
[Reply]
about 6 months ago
Oh, thank God someone acknowledged this comma thing. It annoys the hell out of me when people leave that off! I specifically remember my teacher in elementary school telling us that you count the number of items in your list and there should be one less comma in the sentence then there are items. Three items, two commas. It’s stuck with me forever, and this optional thing is bullshit. Correct grammar should never be optional!
Sara´s last blog ..Spin Classes Can Suck My You-Know-What
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 12:57 pm
NEVER. I don’t even understand how it got to be optional in the first place.
[Reply]
about 6 months ago
Here here! I am a big fan of the Oxford comma and have never understood why it’s an option. Tho, to be fair, the English language is nothing if not a representation of the “yeah, that works too” attitude of our country. You would not believe the fights I got into with my high schoolers when teaching rules of punctuation. In my class, there is no option when it comes to this issue. And really, the one carrying the yard stick gets to make the rules. (Which, incidently, is also a tennent of the “Dont be an asshole” dogma, if I’m not mistaken.)
Natalie Cottrell´s last blog ..Reading this post will do absolutely nothing to enhance your life. You’ve been warned.
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 12:58 pm
She who carries the stick is the mightiest. And that she would be me. Lucky for you, I like you. So you’re in the clear.
[Reply]
about 6 months ago
I agree! While I’m all for minimalistic writing, and the Oxford comma is one less character, it’s a character well spent. In addition to your reasons, I like to think about how it would be pronounced out loud. When listing items, you don’t suddenly speed up after the last item. You pause just as long as you did after every other item; this pause is represented by the Oxford comma.
P.S. Nerd.
Phronk´s last blog ..Mornin’
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 1:04 pm
See? CONSISTENCY.
P.S. Nerd back.
[Reply]
about 6 months ago
Um hell yes for the Oxford comma. I may actually dress up as an oxford comma for Halloween this year, I feel so strongly about them.
Okay now that we’ve got that covered, can we please discuss proper use of the semicolon, both in and out of lists?
Rachel´s last blog ..Oh you know, this and that.
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 1:22 pm
Oh man, if you dress up as an Oxford comma, I want pictures. Also, if you’re only one you, how will you differentiate yourself from the regular comma?
I think that poster from Oatmeal summed up semi-colon use brilliantly.
[Reply]
Rachel Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 2:39 pm
I’ll have a comma taped to my front and the word “and” on my back. Because the comma comes before the and. And I’ll be wearing Oxford shoes

Rachel´s last blog ..Oh you know, this and that.
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 2:59 pm
Oh that’s genius. I was thinking you should get three friends together and make them all dress up, too.
about 6 months ago
Viva la Cult!
Anyway, I’m in total agreement. Failing to include the final comma insinuates that the final two products are together and not separate entities. How lazy must you be to leave it off? As for journalism, I don’t think I’d follow their rules- those guys are crazy (and lazy)!
PS- when does the congregation meet?
Graygrrrl´s last blog ..Chez Gris: Who Loves Curry?
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 1:23 pm
I agree. Lazy journalism is probably what got us into this mess.
I don’t think we have to have formal meetings. You and I can discuss things over pasta and wine.
[Reply]
about 6 months ago
Hooray for the Oxford comma! I didn’t know that’s what it’s called, but I always use it anyway.
Just A Girl´s last blog ..Violence Unsilenced
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 1:24 pm
Good girl. Now I shall make you a cookie.
And eat it myself. That’s not asshole behavior because I said so.
[Reply]
about 6 months ago
Yes! I wish everyone would use the damn comma!! Everyone else in my office removes if from everything I write (we always send things around to others for editing purposes), and it drives me up the wall . . . and with consistency being a big deal in my office, I remove it. Every time. UGH!
AuntBT´s last blog ..Twitter
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 2:27 pm
I think your only choice is to replace everyone else in your office with people who know better.
[Reply]
about 6 months ago
THANK YOU!!!!! “and” is a conjunction just like “but” (conjunction junction, what’s your function?!) – i was taught to use a comma before those as well. people mix them up. I LOVE THE OXFORD COMMA.
cavy´s last blog ..life in the big apple
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 2:59 pm
It just shouldn’t be some optional controversial thing. Can’t we all just get along (and do what I want)?
[Reply]
about 6 months ago
This post pretty much makes you my hero.
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 11:09 am
I like being a hero. Part of the new religion, of course.
[Reply]
about 6 months ago
I had to look it up. Thank you for providing the link.
BUT…… I am so happy to have your permission, nay, your command to use it.
I liked to use it but for some reason quit and consciously had to stop myself from using it. I guess I was just following THE example.
I think with out it, there is a closer link between the two items that are connected only by ‘and’. And that would be misleading.Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I bow before my new lord or lordess or whatever one calls a bitch who starts a religion.
Oh shit, now I’m an asshole and can’t belong.
Listen, maybe we can work something out to get me reinstated. Or maybe I shouldn’t go there.
Thanks again
Greg
GregoryJ´s last blog ..Comcast read my blog
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 4:08 pm
The good news is that I get to decide who’s an asshole. And so far, you don’t seem to qualify. So you’re totally in.
[Reply]
GregoryJ Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 5:08 pm
Oohhhhh. I’m in love.
again
this week
fickle? no not me…….
GregoryJ´s last blog ..Comcast read my blog
[Reply]
about 6 months ago
That is, quite possibly, the coolest religion ever.
And, I swear, are lazy people considered assholes too? Because I hate lazy people. Well, moreover, lazy Grammar people who don’t want to use commas anymore. I love commas. And apostrophes. And periods. And run-on sentences. Then again, maybe that’s just me, and I’m a little strange anyway. Please, don’t put me on the “asshole” list. That would suck, a lot.
Christina Harperq´s last blog ..Damn! They Lied About The Cookies
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 11:07 am
Laziness as asshole behavior will have to be determined on a case-by-case basis. Because some lazy people just stay home and are, therefore, not in my way.
[Reply]
about 6 months ago
I was Sports Editor of my college newspaper for two years, and the board outlawed the Oxford comma. It took so much getting used to.
On a good note, our theme song for layout on Tuesdays (a good 14 hours process) would be “Oxford Comma” by Vampire Weekend. They “don’t give a fuck about an Oxford comma,” so why should we have?
It’s so counterintuitive not to use it.
Spell check doesn’t recognize counterintuitive as a word. I’m gonna go cry now.
Michelle´s last blog ..Something I Will Never Get Over
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 11:07 am
Spell check sometimes makes me really sad.
[Reply]
about 6 months ago
While I don’t typically use the Oxford comma, it’s entertaining to know that there’s someone else out there that gets as worked up about the “to” and “two” or “too” stuff as I do.
Linz´s last blog ..Six Words
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 11:08 am
Oh trust. It’s me. It DRIVES ME INSANE. You’re saving ONE LETTER, while looking like an idiot. Congratulations.
I’ve forgiven you for the non-Oxford comma use because you don’t think the above rant is crazy.
[Reply]
about 6 months ago
so, this new religion, do I have to pay tithes and stuff? I’m good as long as I don’t have to go to confessional.
I am also very much for the Oxford comma, but then I nearly failed English.
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 2:09 pm
No tithing necessary. I’d rather you use your money for fruity drinks and vacations. But of course if you wanted to buy ME fruity drinks and vacations…
[Reply]
about 6 months ago
I can’t use the oxford comma! I can’t! The Associated Press stylebook says I can’t!
Though, the AP stylebook also makes me write Web site with a capital W. And Internet’s capped, too. WTF, AP?
Ells´s last blog ..Color me embarrassed
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 2:09 pm
See? It clearly knows not what it says.
[Reply]
Sean Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 9:12 am
I agree with Ells here. I teach a few web design classes, and the textbook constantly (although not consistently) capitalizes “Web sites”, “Web browser”, and “Web portal”. (Notice I had to throw in the Oxford comma? Folks, it’s not that difficult!). But I digress. The issue is that when my students see my lecture notes, everything is back in lower case again. Since when did “web” become a proper noun, and thus need to be capitalized?!
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 10:04 am
Since the beginning of the INTERNETS when it was a BIG DEAL. Al Gore said so.
[Reply]
about 6 months ago
i get my panties more in a bunch over improper OVERusage of commas. some people seem to think that adding a shitload of commas to their sentences makes them sound smarter or something. DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY.
Alice´s last blog ..i VERY MUCH hope that all searches for "baby oil slip n’ slide" now direct the internet to my blog
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 2:10 pm
Oh, I agree. But I can’t defeat that problem today. I’m too tired. Plus, I think that goes back to Rachel’s request to teach proper use of semi-colons.
[Reply]
about 6 months ago
I stand stout and resolute, my head unbowed against the use of this so called “serial” comma. Never shall its tiny shadow darken my writing.
The reason it shouldn’t be used is it actually replaces the word “and” as in: “this and that and the other.” Properly written it becomes, “this, that and the other.”
Is there room for honest disagreement within your religion? Just wondering, ya know.
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 9:59 am
Always room for disagreement. As long as disagreement isn’t preached at me.
I completely disagree with your reasoning against the Oxford comma, but I still like you and stuff.
[Reply]
about 6 months ago
First, I hate that you have caused me to have Vampire Weekend stuck in my head. Granted, any song that mentions both Oxford commas and Lil’ John earns my complete devotion.
Second, I am glad you have made this rule. My sister and I used to use “Rule #1 – Don’t be a Douche Bag” all the time, and you have carried on this torch well.
lymib
[Reply]
shine Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 2:11 pm
You are SO in my religion.
[Reply]
about 5 months ago
I work for various American and English journal and book publishers and it’s not an optional thing, it’s two different rules. In British writing in general, and typically in American journalism, it tends to be regarded as wrong as the ‘and’ is basically functioning as a comma, so personally I don’t agree with the Oxford comma.
I do agree with Not Being An Arsehole, though.
[Reply]
about 5 months ago
Can I hug you? I want to hug you.
It has always been my belief that THE COMMA SHOULD BE THERE. It was actually only in recent years that I realized that, well, maybe everyone else didn’t think so. Then again “everyone else” can’t figure out how to use a damn apostrophe so I don’t know why They get any say.
[Reply]