Yeah, it pretty much stays there. Except herpes, I imagine.
I managed to lose my voice about two days before I left for #BiSC, and it’s still not really back. This means I spent the majority of the trip answering the question, “Who are you, again?”
“Jen? Shannon? Sharon? Chai? Susan?” (Imagine me repeating “shine” in between each of the guesses.)
“Oooohhh, Shine. That’s a pretty name.”
“Um, right. It’s not my name, but there are three other people here with my name, so…yeah, it’s my blog name.” (My mom doesn’t have nearly enough (read: none) hippie in her to have named me “Shine.”)
Luckily, the smarty mcsmarty who is @stratejoy had the brilliant idea to write twitter handles on everyone’s forearm. Yes, I know this sounds ridiculous. But really. It HELPED. For a list of all the fabulous ladies and gentlemen (I’m using both those terms loosely), please click here.
Of course, one of my favorite parts of the trip was getting to meet @lbluca77 and @rsub27 (Mr. Beautiful 2.0, now with more brown!). I’m going to go kidnap them both and move them to Texas. They’re going to be PISSED.
Some ridiculousness, bullet-point style:
- I forgot to pack my toothpaste and then only travel-size I could find on my way to the airport was this Arm & Hammer baking soda shiz. Basically, it looked like jizz and tasted like ass, so I spent most mornings talking about “jizzing my mouth.”
- There was apparently a sex toy giveaway (sex toys provided by Toy with Me, go check out the site!), but I saw no evidence of sex toys or giveaways, despite having what I suspect was the most interactive costume for our Theme Party Pub Crawl (which was less of a crawl and more of a “stay at Planet Hollywood where they gave us free booze,” because hey, we ain’t stupid. (Thanks, Planet Hollywood, my vodka was delicious!)
- I played ONE penny slot machine (with ONE dollar) and won (then lost, of course) $5.40. I don’t gamble, dudes. It’s not my style.
- I am not now, nor will I ever be, in the “cool kids” group. I just don’t care enough about having my voice heard to try that hard (dear friends who are reading this, shutupkthx). Plus this weekend, I didn’t have a voice to be heard.
- I think I’ve officially seen the whitest of all white dancing. Sorry, @nataliecottrell , you’ve been bumped by @livitluvit and @rusb27 . For serious.
- For reasons I don’t care to explain, I was wearing two pairs of underwear on my flight home.
- At some point, I turned into the Incredible (Shine)Hulk, and refused to say much more than “SHINE SMASH!” (I wasn’t drunk.) I’m making some giant orange fists to smash together, don’t worry.
- Our hotel room was littered with French fries for most of the weekend.
- You will be hard-pressed to get me to give enough of a shit to RUN up and down the Vegas strip in the middle of the afternoon to win any kind of scavenger hunt. Unless the prize is Jason Statham or something. Then you better get out of my way.
- Three girls walking down the Vegas strip dressed as a school girl (from Gossip Girl), an ’80s aerobics instructor, and an autograph book (that was me, and by this point, people had signed all over my clothes) will attract a LOT of male attention. But no one will find the outfits bizarre.
- Vegas is one of the least awesome places to be if you’ve just had to give your electric company the last pennies in your checking account.
- @nicoleisbetter talks about 37 miles per minute. About her vagina. So you can all rest easy in the fact that what you see is what you get, when you read her blog. (If I’m to be perfectly honest, I was a little about meeting her, but she was really nice to me the whole weekend. Plus, it was pretty awesome of her to plan the whole thing.)
- One of the washcloths in our room was used as an ice pack for more than one person. We had a rash of bloody head wounds and unfortunate curling iron burns in our hotel room.
That’s really about all I can give you as a recap. I’m far too old for this shit.