My Imaginary Boyfriend.
Okay, so some of you may know (and some of you may not) that Bradley Whitford is my imaginary boyfriend. I know what you’re thinking right now. “Bradley…Whitford? But…why?” Well, shut your faces. I love him.
And I suspect that he loves me, too. That’s probably why he agreed to do Good Guys (Series Premier tonight on FOX!), a cop show filmed in Dallas.
No, I’m not a crazy stalker. At least, I don’t think I am.
My crush began when a little show called Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip aired back in 2006. I know, I know. That’s pretty late in the game. And also, those blonde highlights were…atrocious. But he played the incredibly witty and lovable Danny Tripp. A crush was born. It was, however, overshadowed by the Chandler Bing crush I had been nursing for the last decade. I LIKE FUNNY, PEOPLE.
And so I watched. And then, after only a season and a half, the show was canceled. I pulled myself together and moved forward. There was nothing else to do. Also, I didn’t know anything about a little show called West Wing (Oh, Josh Lyman, you give me the warm tinglies in my pretty parts). I just remembered that my dear Mr. Whitford had been the asshole in Billy Madison. So I watched that. And I still had a crush.
Then, I found West Wing (this year). Thanks to the ever-so-charming Peter De Wolf. I’ve watched the first two seasons and now I’m pretty sure that Mr. Whitford and I are supposed to be together. Yes, this is ridiculous. But I love him. I will be so disappointed if I ever meet him and he turns out to be stupid. He plays smart so well.
Mr. Whitford, please don’t be stupid, okay? For me.
I know that most people my age (30), have crushes on the likes of uh…actually, I have no idea. Let’s say Brad Pitt or George Clooney. And while those men are fine, they don’t have Mr. Whitford’s panache.
Yes, I just used “panache.” Deal with it. And while he may not do it for you, and he probably doesn’t have women throwing panties at him from the side of the road or anything, I think he’s great.
This morning, as I was pulling up to work, I got a text message from (My co-host for Runsheet Radio. Listen and watch Thursdays from 10:00 pm to midnight!) with a picture of my imaginary boyfriend and some other people from his show Good Guys. Cue head explosion.
BECAUSE HE IS IN TOWN RIGHT NOW. And I didn’t realize what day or time. It’s not that I’m crying about it or anything, but I do feel a bit shouty. I mean, it’s obvious that he wants to meet me, right? Why else would he keep coming back to Dallas? WHY DIDN’T I WAKE UP IN TIME TO SHOWER THIS MORNING?
Okay, my calm pants are now back on. Mr. Whitford, I’m sure if you just gave me a chance, you would find me charming and adorable. Oh, and I love dogs (I hear you have one). I’m not the skinniest girl in the world, and I will probably never be famous, but I can assure I’ll make you dinner and I’ll always get up to get you a beer. Let’s be friends. With benefits…that lead to dating and stuff. But no kids, okay? Unless you really want them. Then we can ask Angelina where she keeps getting hers, because my lady parts don’t really dig on the idea of being stretched to all oblivion just to birth a screaming thing that doesn’t speak English. See? When I put it that way, it doesn’t sound so awesome, right? I make really good pancakes. Also, you can keep the mustache, but I’m not happy about it.
And see how cute I am?
My glasses are really cute, too. Also, I sort of know how to sail. Just sayin'. If that's something you're interested in. Call me.