As the cliche, traditional wedding story goes, the bride and groom must make every concession to please their families, while getting almost nothing that they actually wanted out of the day. I’m not saying your wedding was like that, I’m just talking about the stories and movie plots and such.
Of course, that simply leads me to wonder why anyone wants a wedding, but that’s a wonder for another day.
My birthday is coming up in a couple of days. Friday, to be exact. I will be 31 years old.
I’m not one much for making a big fuss about my birthday. I had several really crappy ones and now I’d rather just be quiet and peaceful and…well, not cry. Last year was my 30th, so a couple of friends insisted that it should be a big deal. A party was planned and everyone had a great time. Including me.
But this year, I just want to do what I want and not have to make a big fuss.
Cut to Thanksgiving Day:
Nana: You know I was too depressed to celebrate your birthday last year, since I had gotten fired a couple of months before. This year, we need to make sure we have a celebration for you.
The truth is, I barely noticed that she wasn’t up for celebrating. She hasn’t been a big part of my birthday, or any other part of my life, in YEARS. But, in typical Nana fashion, everything is about her, so she assumes that I must have been oh so sad when she didn’t bother to call or make time for dinner (I didn’t have family dinner at all for my birthday last year).
What can I do, but agree? Yes, Nana, we can do a family thing for my birthday this year, if that’s what you want. Never mind what I want, of course.
Cut to last night at dinner with my parents:
Mom: So what would you like for dinner for your birthday? Nana said that we need to do something for your birthday this year, since she missed it last year.
Me: Oh, I don’t know…sushi?
Mom: Well, I guess I could figure out how to make sushi at home.
Me: We’re eating at your place? Never mind. I just assumed we were going out.
Mom: I’m pretty sure Nana is planning on cooking dinner for you and doing a family thing at home. (Except, of course, Mom will have to cook the dinner.)
Me: …Oh. I didn’t realize. Sure, whatever Nana wants.
Mom: So what do you want for dinner? I can cook anything.
Me: Um…maybe beef tenderloin?
Mom: I could do that. But we’d have to get something else for Dana.
Me: Oh, right. Well, Gary hates chicken and Dana doesn’t eat red meat (or anything except chicken, really) and I’m not a huge fan of pork…Ugh, I really don’t care.
I suppose my question is, if I have to make concessions for everyone else, why can’t someone else just plan the thing and I’ll show up? I love my Nana, but she is one of the most self-involved people in the world. I wouldn’t choose to hang out with her if I didn’t have to, but I don’t have a choice. She drives my mom crazy, too, so it’s not just me.
In awesome birthday related news, HWLTFA is taking me for Greek food and to see Black Swan for my actual birthday. It’s the perfect, quiet celebration. The next morning, I get to have brunch with the always lovely Natalie and April. And then my friend Leslie is sort of having a birthday party for me that night. Yay for birthdays!